Hello Rocky,

What's your take on the UFO sighting in Chicago?  I feel like somebody is hiding something.  Should I be worried?

Beth Shapiro
Lake Forest, IL

Rocky Responds: 

On the surface it seems like a goofy story.  The CNN piece says the Feds are blowing it off as a weather phenomenon.  They end the article with a little joke by the controllers union official, Craig Burzych, who says, "To fly 7 million light years to O'Hare and then have to turn around and go home because your gate was occupied is simply unacceptable."  Har har. 

But something doesn't feel right.

So I went to the Chicago Tribune to get the details.  This article will knock the smile off of your face.  A group of airline employees, including pilots (people who would be fired if they were in any way intoxicated, by the way) saw:

"A flying saucerlike object hovered low over O'Hare International Airport for several minutes before bolting through thick clouds with such intense energy that it left an eerie hole in overcast skies...  One United employee appeared emotionally shaken by the sighting and "experienced some religious issues" over it, one co-worker said...A United manager said he ran outside his office in Concourse B after hearing the report about the sighting on an internal airline radio frequency.  "I stood outside in the gate area not knowing what to think, just trying to figure out what it was," he said. "I knew no one would make a false call like that. But if somebody was bouncing a weather balloon or something else over O'Hare, we had to stop it because it was in very close proximity to our flight operations." Some said they were interviewed by United officials and instructed to write reports and draw pictures of what they observed, and that they were advised by United officials to refrain from speaking about what they saw." 

So United tries to squash the story.  Bad for business, I suppose.  But the Feds wouldn't be in on a cover-up, would they?  Actually, the Tribune continues:

"Like United, the FAA originally told the Tribune that it had no information on the alleged UFO sighting. But the federal agency quickly reversed its position after the newspaper filed a Freedom of Information Act request."

At which point the Feds admitted the sighting:

"Our theory on this is that it was a weather phenomenon," (FAA spokeswoman Elizabeth Isham Cory) said. "That night was a perfect atmospheric condition in terms of low [cloud] ceiling and a lot of airport lights. When the lights shine up into the clouds, sometimes you can see funny things. That's our take on it."

Okay, but for the record, the sighting occurred during daylight, about 4:30 p.m., just before sunset.

So to answer your question, Beth, YES, you should be worried.  Because one of the following four statements is true:

1.  Earth is being visited by space aliens.
2.  The military has a secret new stealth vehicle and they are so cocky that they flew it over one of our busiest airports to prove a point.
3.  United has a whacked-out group of employees capable of mass hallucinations and instead of firing the looney birds the airline simply shushes them.
4.  Al Gore was right about global warming and we are in for some crazy ass weather.

My money is on #2, but I'm not ruling out #3, and I'm open to the idea of combining #1 and #4, meaning Al Gore might be a space alien waiting for the day when he can put all Earthlings in a lockbox.

Stay focused.


UPDATE Jan. 4. 2007:  Crazy stuff over Colorado now.   And over New Jersey, where even Space Aliens think it's okay to litter.  Let's see how creative Elizabeth Isham Cory gets as she tries to explain away these new events.